dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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