If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
my nose is crying tears of wow.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
