remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
