Cold hands, warm shart.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
