He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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