Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
