Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
