jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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