Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
