If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
