I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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