Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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