We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
accomplished twins. life is a go
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
How does it feel to date your dad?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
