I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
