that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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