honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
