Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
