Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The feeling are messing with the penis
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
