I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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