idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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