Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
