He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize