omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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