It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
