Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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