Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
