It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
