i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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