This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
