Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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