Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I have fence marks all over my body
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
