you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
