that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
