Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
