I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
