I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
