Yo dont text me then not text me
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
