In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Randomize
