He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
