was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
