and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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