I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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