hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
