Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
