The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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