yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
