we have pet lesbian snakes
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize