I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Randomize
