it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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