Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
