During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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